Update since my Magazine Article

My Transliving Magazine Article, from issue 28...

Going out: would it ever happen?

I'm an Occasional Transvestite, my name is Janet and I suffer with learning difficulties. I live with my Mum who is a very supportive person. I feel that having these problems stops me from doing what I want to do - dressing enfemme - as I am vulnerable.

There are things I would love to do while being dressed as my alter ego. I'd love to go to Transliving Parties in Essex, Bristol Crossroads and Davina's Place at Bristol's Harbourside. Plus visit Doreen Fashions TG friendly shop in London and so much more.

There are many of us who are still in the closet. There are others who venture out in public and go shopping, eating in restaurants and go to the cinema dressed as the women they become. This would be something that I would like to achieve in the future, if possible.

My journey into the cross-dressing world started when I was 12. I used to have these dreams of myself looking and feeling like a girl. Being so young I could not understand why only girls wore dresses and boys didn't. The only thing I could do was to keep this a secret, so for a lot of my childhood I thought I would never get to wear a dress.

Anyway, in 2003 I discovered a leotard in my Mum's bedroom while she was out one day. I had to put it on and see how it felt. It was such a wonderful feeling to wear something of the opposite sex and I was very comfortable. I got upset when I had to take it off as my Mum was on her way home. The leotard was originally my sister's and was kept for years as a keep sake, which is why I found it in a black bag with some other things.

A year later, I did something stupid. I went onto an online community forum and openly discussed how I was feeling. A week passed and my sister received a call from someone who I had talked with online. My secret was out in the open and my Mum asked all sorts of questions like "are you gay?" (Definitely not). "Why do you feel that you had to wear the leotard?" (Because it makes me happy).

During the next couple of years, my Mum let me buy my own feminine clothes and have sessions called 'Personal Time' until she felt ok to meet Janet Johnson, my female alter ego. Now, my dressing is more than a hobby: Janet is a part of me and will never go away.

I don't do it because I have to. I wouldn't drop down dead if I never dressed again, although life does get pretty depressing during extended periods in "boy mode". I know that genetic girls are natural born women who get to wear dresses, tops and skirts every day if they want to, as it's the right clothing for their sex.

There are people who are unable to "dress" in their own street, so feel the need to have weekends away, where they can happily be the woman they become and not worry about neighbours or anybody else. This would be a wonderful reason to shop in public and eat in restaurants and just have a girlie night on the town. It's important to look convincing so nobody senses that you're a man who sometimes wants to be a woman - the only thing that gives you away is your voice.

Update since my Magazine Article... Going Out (Part Two): It Finally Happened!

I've written a follow up article to my last one that was published in the Transliving Magazine issue 28 (which is above), this new story will feature my first outing to Bristol Crossroads and how my feelings have changed since.

This new story will be in the next issue of the magazine, which I hope you enjoy reading. If you want to comment you can email me on my website: www.freewebs.com/enfemme as I love reading what you think.

Until next blog, have fun and stay safe.

Hugs, Janet Johnson